The veterans who’ve participated for years think about the family life they’ve missed because of the commitment to youth sports, and they’re still not sure. Almost never skipping practices, never missing a game or competition; we’ve all participated in fund-raising, team meetings, weekend travel – all with the best of intentions. Over time, our children's sports became the center that everything else revolved around, and too much of the non-sports side of life just disappeared.
What's Important And What's Not
If you sense that your children's participation is overwhelming your family life, it is time to take a closer look:
- Family Wants & Needs.
Jot down everyone's desires. You can do this best with input from everyone at a family meeting. Be as specific as you can. Include the big and the little things: visit our relatives, youth group, go camping, have real conversations, community service, etc. These are the experiences that will make up the fabric and memories of your family life.
- Time.
Track the time your family devotes to cheerleading for one month. Use colored markers - transportation, practice, spirit rallies, games and competition. Highlight family dinners missed and invitations declined because of conflicts. Putting it all down on paper can be a shock, because of the increasing number of commitments families absorb without realizing it.
- Family/Sports Balance.
Assess the emphasis that you give to non-sports family life and to sports participation by looking at your vision and your time inventory and asking: How much free time does our family actually have? Do we have energy left over for important non-sports activities? Over the long-term is the ratio tilting more to one side or the other?
Finding The Right Balance
Awareness is the first step toward restoring a healthy balance to family life. Once you've identified the problems, you'll begin to see the solutions. Here are some tips:
- Consider each child's individual needs.
Is their interest in sports in proportion to the time they're putting in? Back off of multiple commitments, if necessary, for some children. Even one sport per season may be too much. Let alone cheerleading which can run nearly year round.
- Set limits.
Put limits on how much family time you'll devote to cheerleading and all the kid’s sports.
- Plan ahead and use your time.
Be more deliberate and assertive about planning for family activities. Look ahead and identify the nights and weekends that aren't scheduled. Use the travel time to review times tables or practice a speech or just have good conversation. If you have to wait before you start practice, use the time to review your spelling words or your history timelines. Make use of the "wasted" time.
- Be up front with coaches and other parents.
Address the importance of family/sports balance up front with parents and coaches. Bring the concern up for discussion at pre season meetings. Seek out teams with like-minded families.
Keep a proper perspective. Most importantly, remember that you're raising a great person, not just a great athlete.
