1. Make an appointment with the coach, away from the gym or athletic field, to tell her/him about your feelings.
Appeal to the coach (probably also a parent), that parents have an obligation as well as a right to look out for their children's interests and that is why you are having the discussion. Often times coaches may not be aware that something they are doing is causing problems for some of their players.
2. Cite specifics about what he is doing that are having such a negative affect on your child. Try to learn why the coach is behaving the way he/she is and give the coach a chance to explain his philosophy about coaching and to explain his actions.
3. Make specific suggestions and recommendations for more appropriate behavior. If the coach is an inexperienced but well meaning individual, this approach may help.
More likely, the coach will not take criticism well and will not respond favorably. Even so, be polite but firm in explaining that you are asking him and expecting him to change the manner in which he treats your child.
If you get no satisfaction, advise the coach that you are taking the matter to higher authorities.
4. Send a Follow-up letter to the administration/association - request their help in resolving the problem.
If you do not get a favorable response from the coach or the administration, write to your principal or board of education, the department of parks and recreation, or the owner.
Organizations that allow bad coaches to abuse children, verbally, emotionally or physically are acting irresponsibly.
5. Find other parents who feel the same way as you regarding the problem(s), and ban together.
Parents who are having problems with bad coaches often don't try to do anything to solve the problem because they fear reprisal. As a result bad coaches continue to coach and more of our youth are impacted.
Demand immediate and appropriate action to protect your child.
Coaches must provide a positive experience for all their members and if they do not know how to do that, they should receive proper training. Bad coaches need to be identified and removed. Only concerned parents and concerned league officials can make this to happen.
Continue to support, encourage and praise your child as he or she continues to participate. Try to takeover coaching/helping your child away from regular practices. You are the main influence on our leader of tomorrow.
Hopefully you can resolve or even improve your program. Let us know how things turn out for you and your child. The OACC is your advocate for good, quality programs and good quality people.
